Three years of college life are nearly done. This morning I gave my thesis to my advisor. Next month, as soon as the employment agreement gets stamped, I'm free to leave school.
March was mostly empty, except for a call home in the middle of the month to help out with making boards. I didn't really want to go — both my parents were busy — so I said I'd go if they covered the fare. The trip there meant switching vehicles the whole way: city bus, high-speed train, long-distance coach, then a motorcycle taxi. There's a rural bus that would have handled that last stretch, but I didn't know its schedule, so the motorbike ride set me back 33 yuan.
Since I've been back on campus, all I've done is revise my own thesis and other people's. I quit the part-time job this semester. I didn't even want to come back, but I still haven't found anything with a contract to sign.
Tomorrow, March 30, is the exam for upgrading from an associate degree to a bachelor's. I genuinely don't know what got into me when I signed up. I haven't opened a book, haven't reviewed a thing. Back in freshman year I kept telling everyone I'd do it — then I drifted along, working part-time, sitting in class, going out, and the time just drained away. Sophomore year I still had room to study; I simply didn't want to. During the junior-year internship I wasn't that busy either, and I didn't study then. Tomorrow I'll go and see what happens. Everyone calls it a second gaokao — well, I did pay the exam fee, so at least that much is real. It'll be a completely cold attempt.
There's no shortage of jobs; good jobs are another matter. Though it depends on what you count as "good." Someone like me, with no real technical skill, isn't going to find anything great. Ordinary jobs pay just about enough to cover my own expenses — nothing left over, sometimes not even enough for the daily basics, let alone putting money aside. The exhausting, poorly paid kind never lasts long anyway; honestly, hardly any job seems to last, except the kind that comes with an iron rice bowl. My counselor's advice is to get employed first and choose a career later: find something to do, keep yourself fed, and look for work you actually like along the way. I don't have a job I like. High pay and a bit less effort would be enough for me.
Time moves fast and people drift like clouds, gathering and scattering. Only the original intention stays put. That summer's wildness, the things that moved me, the happiness, the tears, the sadness — I'll keep them in my chest until I die.