The Master stood by a river and said, 'It passes on like this, and yet it never goes away.'
November 1
With the job question settled, I can put more energy into graduating and losing weight.
November 3
I read Li Xinye's A Guide to Dating Married Women. One part is satire and scolding, two parts rational analysis, and seven parts a deep fixation on first love. After finishing the new book and then going back to his writing from eighteen years ago, I felt even more unsettled.
Yanting's drifting away was the helpless, unavoidable consequence of moving up in school. Juyang's departure carried more of the muddle of the adult world, which is probably one reason the author still can't let it go.
Reading Li Xinye's words kept bringing my own first love back in front of me. Fortunately, I'm an ordinary person. We had no unforgettable memories, but we also didn't hurt each other too much. I felt I owed her something in that relationship, so her leaving made sense to me; I had no resentment.
The Guide has a bit of Ruan Ji's reckless howl at the end of the road. Whatever one thinks of the views, Li Xinye's unrestrained prose carries an intense and sincere emotion.
November 4
One source of Li Xinye's pain is 'discovering that his first love was a terrible person.' I sympathize. But after I realized my first love was a terrible person, I also realized I was a piece of shit, and then I felt less bad.
November 6
Not enough sleep really wrecks my work. A few nights ago I was getting eight full hours, and I had energy all day, could stay focused through a busy day, and my thinking was fairly clear. Last night I slept only six hours. Waking up was miserable; my brain was at least two or three beats behind, thoughts vanished as soon as they appeared, and my body had no stamina. It's hard to go from luxury back to frugality.
In the past I had plenty of days with only a little over six hours of sleep, and I didn't feel as bad as this morning. My body must have dulled itself in that bad state. From now on I should try to protect good sleep.
November 7
Yuanji Yunjiao's dumplings are awful. With quality that bad, why can they open so many chain stores?
November 9
Watched the Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid movie. Little Kanna is adorable! Next week I'm going to sleep hugging Kanna for the whole week. Some parts felt forced and abrupt; I don't know if deleted scenes caused that. Looking forward to the BD release.
I think I accidentally ruined a young couple's private time in the theater. :(
November 15
I came to a deeper, more painful realization that I sing terribly.
November 18
Last night I actually dreamed that a loli senior confessed to me... What was I thinking?
November 21
All right—I officially landed a position with the Dalian CPPCC. I suppose that settles the question of my test-taking ability.
November 25
Woke up in the middle of the night hot. Turned on my phone and found several ex-girlfriends yawning on their Moments feeds; my mood improved and I rolled over and slept better.
I got an offer from the Dalian Civil Affairs Bureau. But the Civil Affairs Bureau doesn't seem as imposing as the CPPCC.
November 29
Guangyi Zhanji is getting a tenth-anniversary new release, and inoino is doing the art. Great news.
November 30
I hadn't done experiments for a long time, and my hands were rusty. I made an extremely stupid beginner's mistake. Skill comes from diligence and falls apart through play.
December 8
Cramming really doesn't work. I practiced singing intensively for over a month, but in the actual performance I was still badly off-key.
December 10
When I go to Sichuan-Hunan restaurants for a treat, I often sigh: the dishes are so fragrant and good, so why won't they use better rice? At a Chaoshan hot pot place I saw fried tofu skin for the first time; cooking it in the pot was delicious. At a Jiangxi restaurant I had a dish called Jinggangshan tofu skin, and the tofu skin inside had also been pre-fried; the texture was great. I wonder why pre-frying tofu skin before cooking is so rare in the Northeast.
December 15
Kokkoro has actually turned into an auntie. Cygames' behavior is outrageous.
December 19
McDonald's new orange-grapefruit flavored ice cream is good.
December 19
Some Dalian netizens give me the impression of 'not having a Hong Kong person's fate, but having a Hong Kong person's disease.' I don't know whether choosing to work in Dalian is right or wrong.
December 24
Kinoko Nasu's FGO story really is excellent. Even as someone who only follows the game from afar, I found it very interesting.
December 27
The FGO final chapter left my stomach in knots. It definitely isn't a strong start and weak finish, but there's a lingering sense of loss—I can't say whether it's a bad end or a good end. :( Can the R18 artists please step up and create a HAPPY END without sadness?
There are still so many things in the story that were never explained, and it makes me itch with curiosity. Kinoko Nasu is too cruel.